Hey guys;
I know its been awhile but that is partly because of all the details of my life that I have been dealing with and wanting to figure out what I want out of the world. I have decided though that there are a lot of things that in my life I need to look at and ask myself if they really belong there.
I need to ask myself if somethings are really worth all the trouble and pain and sacrifice that I have put upon myself just for in the end to end up miserable. I don't know what to say or who to say it to. I want so many things out of my life but I am unsure how to get them.
I want to be happy and have people like me but I don' t want to be someone that gets walked over and is unsure of themselves. I have so many dreams and aspirations but I don't know how to get to them, who to keep and who to let go, what to fight for success and what to drop for failure. I know I want to be happy and successful but I don't know how to get there.
I want to be a partner and mother someday but not now. I need to be successful on my own, not depending on people to support me. I need to be able to say hey I did this and I can do it again and I don't need a partner to be happy and successful. Sure I want to date and fall in love but I don't want to become dependent on someone but most of all I want the person to be like this also.
I want to have a stable income before I even think about moving out of my mom's but in the end this is where I feel safe and this is where I always want to be. I love being with my family, yeah my brothers bother and annoy me but in the end I wouldn't change it for anything. Yes I want my independence but at the cost of family, never. I want to live on my own or with my best friend but not until I know that I can support myself without having to go to my mom or grandmother for help. I want to be able to say hey I did that all on my own.
I want to have my schooling done before I even think about having kids, do I want them yes. I know I am the mothering type of person. I want to be able to give my love to someone else, raise, nurture, advise and watch someone grow up. Honestly right now I am having a hard time dealing with my own problems, let alone the ones that come with having a baby. I want to be able to support and supply that child with everything they need, including my time and attention and right now I don't have that to give.
I want find that one person that I belong with but the truth is I'm almost 22 and I've dated one person in what I would call an actual relationship, kissed three guys and only ever been one real date that most people classify as a date. I've met a lot of amazing guys, some I can see a future with, others that I am iffy about, some that will be amazing friends and sources to go to in the future. Have I found that one person that I can be with forever? I don't think so, I know a lot about people and personalities or I like to think I do.
By the time you get into your 20s you are developing who you are going to be for the rest of your life. I'm going to be academic that struggles, I can tell that. I know that people who are not ready to give up something the hold dear to them now aren't going to let it go and you can not force or bargain someone to change who they are no matter how much you want to help them or save them. Especially when they remind you so much of someone else that you couldn't save.
I want the person that I end up with to be happy with who they are, whether they are upset or disappointed about their past or have a terrible past but recognize it as the past and are looking towards the future that they want brighter and better for themselves and not for me or anyone else. I want this person to be happy and thankful for life and all of the lessons that they have learned. Most of all I want this person to be true to themselves, like I am trying to be to myself.
Mae
Friday, March 1, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
This Year
Hey guys;
So I just went through something and it made me start to think, I realized that even without doing it that I made a new year resolution and that is to determine what I want from my life. I am not talking about career wise or stuff like that, I mean like when I look into the future am I going to see the person that makes me happy. I am not talking about material things, I am talking emotional, sentimental meaning.
I know that finishing a year of college with a good grade point average will empower me and make me proud. I know that being able to strive for emotional and mental success without the use of medication would empower me so much to do anything that I set my mind to do. I don't need a partner or lots of money or fancy things in order to make me happy all I need is to be happy with me and that is all that really matters.
Since the beginning of this month and a bit into the end of December I have been wearing a butterfly charm necklace. I don't know why, but it was calling to me. It was telling me to wear it and I have been. When I go through the web and look up meanings of butterfly charms or butterflies I find a lot of different answers:
A quick-list of Butterfly animal symbolism:
or
Butterflies
appear to dance as they flutter among the flowers. They remind us not
to take things so seriously within our lives. They awaken a sense of
lightness and joy. They remind us to get up and move, for if you do not
move, you cannot dance.
Butterflies bring color and joy with them. The colors of the butterfly should be examined for significance and to help you understand its role within your life. Look at how much or little joy is in your life. Lighten up. Look for change. Make changes when the opportunities present themselves. The butterfly will teach you that growth and change do not have to be traumatic. Change can occur as gently and as joyfully as one wishes.
or
I am going to accomplish this and rebirth my life from the sad and dreary one to one full of freedom, openness, patience, love and happiness. I am going to let myself let go of all that has happened and move on from it. Not forget it but I am no longer going to let it control me.
The biggest thing that has held me back in my life has been my dad and his death but the truth is it wasn't his death or the manner in which he did it. It was the fact that he broke my trust, he was the first one to abandoned me when I needed him most, so I learned to not trust easily. It has been an entire childhood from the time he left my life so it is time to let him go and move forward with my life, because in the end that is what he would have wanted was for me to be happy.
This year is about finding me without that part of my life, it is about figuring what I want from life and who I want to be in it. That means figuring out who I am and what I want so I can figure out who and what kind of person I want to share it with. Maybe it will always be you guys, my followers, or my readers for my publish work but whomever it may be, so be it. Things happen for a reason and we can not change that reason, each and every person and event was put into my life for a reason and some I could decode easily while others took a bit more time but in the end I know they were sent to help me be the most amazing person I can be.
I am an amateur and am proud to learn from my mistakes.
Don't forget to leave comments, advice, criticism, reviews, and questions
Remember to Stay Positive, Stay Confident, and Never Stop Being You
Bye Followers
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
PodBean: http://www.podbean.com/user-profile-view?uname=maesworld
So I just went through something and it made me start to think, I realized that even without doing it that I made a new year resolution and that is to determine what I want from my life. I am not talking about career wise or stuff like that, I mean like when I look into the future am I going to see the person that makes me happy. I am not talking about material things, I am talking emotional, sentimental meaning.
I know that finishing a year of college with a good grade point average will empower me and make me proud. I know that being able to strive for emotional and mental success without the use of medication would empower me so much to do anything that I set my mind to do. I don't need a partner or lots of money or fancy things in order to make me happy all I need is to be happy with me and that is all that really matters.
Since the beginning of this month and a bit into the end of December I have been wearing a butterfly charm necklace. I don't know why, but it was calling to me. It was telling me to wear it and I have been. When I go through the web and look up meanings of butterfly charms or butterflies I find a lot of different answers:
A quick-list of Butterfly animal symbolism:
- Resurrection
- Transition
- Celebration
- Lightness
- Time
- Soul
or
Symbolism and Power
Butterfly is the power of air, the ability to float upon a breeze. It is known for its darting flight; thus, it represents the mind and our ability to change it when necessary. Butterfly represents the never-ending cycle of life; therefore, its medicine bestows not only the ability, but the clarity of mind needed before self-transformation.Butterflies
appear to dance as they flutter among the flowers. They remind us not
to take things so seriously within our lives. They awaken a sense of
lightness and joy. They remind us to get up and move, for if you do not
move, you cannot dance.Butterflies bring color and joy with them. The colors of the butterfly should be examined for significance and to help you understand its role within your life. Look at how much or little joy is in your life. Lighten up. Look for change. Make changes when the opportunities present themselves. The butterfly will teach you that growth and change do not have to be traumatic. Change can occur as gently and as joyfully as one wishes.
The Lesson
The lesson of the butterfly is letting go of old behavior and expounding into the next phase of existence. Each of us transforms through multiple stages in our life. It is only through exertion that we emerge into who we will be next. Ask for butterfly help when:- You need help organizing a project or detailing the sequence of steps to complete it.
- You know it is time for a change and need the courage to break free from your “cocoon.”
- You are experiencing a major life change.
- You take things too seriously.
- Noticing colors you are drawn to and trying to discern what they mean for you.
- Choosing a habit you no longer want, developing and implementing a plan to change it.
- Observing butterflies in their natural environment (a park or preserve) and noting what you are thinking when one comes into view.
- Wrapping yourself tightly in a blanket for a few minutes and then slowly unwrapping it and emerge. Does this seem like a metaphor for anything in your life right now?
- Dance! Alone or with someone, release the energy to propel you forward.
or
Butterfly Symbolism
-
In addition to being pretty and decorative, butterfly jewelry can imply freedom, transformation, openness, rebirth, patience, love and happiness.
-
The symbolism of a butterfly can also hold cultural significance. For example, it's symbolic of the soul in Greek culture and indicates the cycle of life in Christianity.
I am going to accomplish this and rebirth my life from the sad and dreary one to one full of freedom, openness, patience, love and happiness. I am going to let myself let go of all that has happened and move on from it. Not forget it but I am no longer going to let it control me.
The biggest thing that has held me back in my life has been my dad and his death but the truth is it wasn't his death or the manner in which he did it. It was the fact that he broke my trust, he was the first one to abandoned me when I needed him most, so I learned to not trust easily. It has been an entire childhood from the time he left my life so it is time to let him go and move forward with my life, because in the end that is what he would have wanted was for me to be happy.
This year is about finding me without that part of my life, it is about figuring what I want from life and who I want to be in it. That means figuring out who I am and what I want so I can figure out who and what kind of person I want to share it with. Maybe it will always be you guys, my followers, or my readers for my publish work but whomever it may be, so be it. Things happen for a reason and we can not change that reason, each and every person and event was put into my life for a reason and some I could decode easily while others took a bit more time but in the end I know they were sent to help me be the most amazing person I can be.
I am an amateur and am proud to learn from my mistakes.
Don't forget to leave comments, advice, criticism, reviews, and questions
Remember to Stay Positive, Stay Confident, and Never Stop Being You
Bye Followers
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
PodBean: http://www.podbean.com/user-profile-view?uname=maesworld
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Starting Podcasts
Hey guys;
I am starting something new and it is known as weekly podcasts. This week is just about an introduction but leave me a comment of what you guys think would be an interesting topic, hope you all enjoy.
Podcast: http://maesworld.podbean.com/2013/01/13/introduction/
I am an amateur and am proud to learn from my mistakes.
Don't forget to leave comments, advice, criticism, reviews, and questions
Remember to Stay Positive, Stay Confident, and Never Stop Being You
Bye Followers
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
PodBean: http://www.podbean.com/user-profile-view?uname=maesworld
I am starting something new and it is known as weekly podcasts. This week is just about an introduction but leave me a comment of what you guys think would be an interesting topic, hope you all enjoy.
Podcast: http://maesworld.podbean.com/2013/01/13/introduction/
I am an amateur and am proud to learn from my mistakes.
Don't forget to leave comments, advice, criticism, reviews, and questions
Remember to Stay Positive, Stay Confident, and Never Stop Being You
Bye Followers
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
PodBean: http://www.podbean.com/user-profile-view?uname=maesworld
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Second Semester of Classes
Wow it is already January of 2013 and that means that it is already the start of second semester. Wow, where does the time go. It feels like it was just October and we were just getting into the nitty gritty of the work that was to come but here we are starting all over again. That means that it is time once again to get reorganized and take control and plan how we are going to make this semester better than the last one.
In my case that meant dropping two classes and dropping my course load down six hours and getting my accommodation plan tweaked a bit in order to help me out. It now has the reduced class load to lessen my stress but also includes written deadlines that are to be stuck to, for some that means nothing but to me it makes all of the difference. I mean after all the trouble that last semester brought with deadlines changing the night of two before an assignment was due really does take a toll on a person. It still does include being allow to take tests in quite spaces away from everyone else and that did help me a lot last semester because I was never worried about why someone was finishing before me or not.
In my experience it is okay to ask for help, especially when it comes to the academic world, because this is the foundation for the rest of your life and without a sturdy foundation you are not able to grow on and be able to foster into the amazing person that you could succeed to be. People may believe that it is easier to do things on their own and not to admit defeat but that does not help you in the long run. That will make it harder in the end to admit that you need help and are unable to face in your mind what counts as a failure.
It time to think of the future and what we want to do, we are coming to a point in our lives where we need to be ready to say lets go forward and become the best that we can. We need to be able to find our path in life and become the best that we can be and move on to better things in our life, we need to move forward and be the best person that we can be. It does not matter in the end what we accomplish it matters how happy we are in the end of all the things we have been in through in our life.
I am an amateur and am proud to learn from my mistakes.
Don't forget to leave comments, advice, criticism, reviews, and questions
Remember to Stay Positive, Stay Confident, and Never Stop Being You
Bye Followers
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
In my case that meant dropping two classes and dropping my course load down six hours and getting my accommodation plan tweaked a bit in order to help me out. It now has the reduced class load to lessen my stress but also includes written deadlines that are to be stuck to, for some that means nothing but to me it makes all of the difference. I mean after all the trouble that last semester brought with deadlines changing the night of two before an assignment was due really does take a toll on a person. It still does include being allow to take tests in quite spaces away from everyone else and that did help me a lot last semester because I was never worried about why someone was finishing before me or not.
In my experience it is okay to ask for help, especially when it comes to the academic world, because this is the foundation for the rest of your life and without a sturdy foundation you are not able to grow on and be able to foster into the amazing person that you could succeed to be. People may believe that it is easier to do things on their own and not to admit defeat but that does not help you in the long run. That will make it harder in the end to admit that you need help and are unable to face in your mind what counts as a failure.
It time to think of the future and what we want to do, we are coming to a point in our lives where we need to be ready to say lets go forward and become the best that we can. We need to be able to find our path in life and become the best that we can be and move on to better things in our life, we need to move forward and be the best person that we can be. It does not matter in the end what we accomplish it matters how happy we are in the end of all the things we have been in through in our life.
I am an amateur and am proud to learn from my mistakes.
Don't forget to leave comments, advice, criticism, reviews, and questions
Remember to Stay Positive, Stay Confident, and Never Stop Being You
Bye Followers
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Update
Hey guys:
Sorry I haven't been around lately, it's because I have had a lot going on lately. School has started and I was in a short relationship that took up a good porpotion of my time.
So I should be back now, I might now be back as often as before but that is because I have seven classes and it gives us lots of work and readings but I am going to try. My computer is also acting up, so I am doing a lot of this on my phone, I got a blackberry is May, so I am ready to see how good it actually is.
Things have been a bit all over place, but once everything gets back to normal, I should be able to have schedule for updates, hopefully it will be soon.
I hope to post something soon.
Bye guys,
MAE
Monday, February 13, 2012
Welcome Back and Changes
Hey:
So I decided to change up my settings so I hope you enjoy.
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
Video:
So I decided to change up my settings so I hope you enjoy.
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
Video:
Friday, February 10, 2012
UPDATE
Hey guys;
Going to be working on getting things posted as quickly as possible. Sorry about the disappearing act. My computer fell at school and am now just getting everything back to normal.
See you soon;
Mae
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
Going to be working on getting things posted as quickly as possible. Sorry about the disappearing act. My computer fell at school and am now just getting everything back to normal.
See you soon;
Mae
Links:
Fanfiction.net - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1757086/
Fictionpress.net - http://www.fictionpress.com/~love2write0524
Youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/user/ScottsPrincess0524
Blogger.con - http://www.blogger.com/profile/09495545238143000339
BlogTv.com - http://www.blogtv.com/People/Scotts_Princess
Twitter.com - https://twitter.com/#!/Mae_s_World
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